This one seems to be about Christmas Trees…

Here’s hoping that your Thanksgiving was better than mine!  Of the 14 family members who ate dinner at my mom’s house, a whopping seven were afflicted with the stomach flu by Saturday (myself and David included), making us the only family in America who lost weight last week. Although those of us who hosted the super-bug discussed our symptoms in GREAT AND NAUSEATING DETAIL, I will spare you from that information and move on to future plans that, hopefully, do not involve unwelcome bodily fluids.  Such as chopping down a Christmas tree!


I have been researching this very topic for the past hour or so in an effort to find the perfect tree farm that will allow me to recapture my childhood experience of hayrides, hot beverages, cheesy gift shops, possibly a petting zoo featuring elderly goats, and, most important of all, a Christmas tree that smells of citrus fruits.  I have discovered that there are several cut-your-own tree farms in Lexington, so that’s a start.  Unfortunately, the websites for said farms are totally useless inasmuch as they do not provide pricing information which is the ABSOLUTE DETERMINING FACTOR since we (like all other People of the World) are poor this year due to the impending great depression and also Sallie Mae, who we despise.  So I suppose I will have to actually call these people to find out. Oh bother…


Just as a side story, when I was around nine years old, we left our newly cut tree in the garage for a few days before setting it up.  When we finally got it into the house, 8 giant mutant amazon flies came buzzing out of the warmed branches, sending my sister and me running out of the room, covering our heads and screaming.  (BTW: I would have that exact same reaction if that were to happen today, which is how I know I’m not ready to procreate.)  My parents remained calm and beat the whole fly family to death with rolled up magazines (merry Christmas).  According to Dad, they were very difficult to kill. End scene.

A rough sketch

A rough sketch


Anyway, so I cannot for the life of me find which tree it was that had that lovely citrus/evergreen scent, so we may have to go for that old standby, the Douglas Fir or the Fraser Fir.  One thing that I learned via Extensive and Professional Internet Research: get a fir or spruce, not a pine—they hang on to their needles longer. 


This will be our first real tree, since we have always used a hand-me-down fake one from David’s mom, which had to stay in NJ due to limited moving truck space.  I was sad about that, since I really loved that tree and also because it was pre-lit (although stringing lights will not be my job. Ever. This is a matter closely related to my general-hatred-of-threading-needles issue.)  David’s mom will be shipping our beautiful ornaments to us (and we love her for that!).  Our ornaments are all clear because we had a little fit of indecisiveness at Target when we were purchasing our first Christmas stuff and determined that clear would go with whatever we decided in the future.  But then we put them on the tree and I loved them because they looked like bubbles, so clear it is.  Forever.  Sorry future children—stick with the theme and your homemade stuff might make it on the back of the tree. 


1 Response to “This one seems to be about Christmas Trees…”

  1. 1 lienss Trackback on April 25, 2016 at 1:23 pm

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