Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Ruby will be 9 months old this week! Since January, it seems like our lives have begun to move very quickly.  I fall asleep on Monday night and wake up on Thursday morning, blink my eyes and I’m starting the work-week again.  I feel like I’m running down a steep hill, at first it was so exhilerating to just pick up my feet and let gravity do the work for me go go go. And I did go faster and faster, and now I am feeling like I can’t sustain this pace, but we are stuck in it–we certainly can’t just stop. This seems to be the pace we are at now.  Our schedules make it difficult to have any time together during the week, and our desire for Ruby to know her out-of-town grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins means we are often traveling or entertaining guests on the weekends.  We can’t keep this pace up.  And so we talked and discussed and did budgety things, and then we decided that in December I will just stop.  I will just quit my job and stay home with Ruby. 

Now, we have made some  pretty drastic, life-changing decisions in the past, but none has freaked me out like this one.  I’m not really sure why, though.  I have so many worries associated with this choice–will I be bored? will I be any good at being a stay-at-home mom? will I still be interesting to talk to? will I ever get a chance to take a shower? will we make it financially? For now, I’ve got grand plans of homecooked suppers, freshly baked bread, a thriving vegetable garden, daily walks, library story-times and a folk-music class… And this is my “trying to be reasonable” list.  Am I replacing one insane life with another?  Maybe.  But at least my new one will be self-inflicted and I will have some control over it. 

I will say that I’m feeling more and more at peace with this decision as the weeks go by.  And Ruby is making things easy by being the sweetest little lady.  A lady with a TOOTH. Who can CRAWL*. 

 

*Ruby has possibly the least efficient crawl ever, but she is on hands and knees and there is forward motion, so it counts.

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1 Response to “Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes”


  1. 1 David October 26, 2011 at 6:57 pm

    J-
    I love you. Each and every day I cherish our life together. Even in the insanity you are a constant refuge for me to run toward. I can not wait to begin another adventure in Jan (and this time we even get to stay in one place – no moving!!).
    We are creating the joy we want to experience in this world and inviting others in to experience it! This change will open up a new part of your life and I am so blessed that you will get the fulfillment you deserve. Keep being brave.
    -d


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